Why Does My Partner Watch Porn?
They told you it happened, again. Or maybe you found out by accident. What should you do? You feel sick.
Pornography is an addiction sometimes swept under the rug. Most of the time, it’s not the first thing that comes to someone’s mind when they hear the word “addiction”. And, in our culture, it’s become so normalized, many people don’t see a problem with it. The heartbreaking reality is kids are exposed to porn at increasingly younger ages, addiction is becoming more prevalent, and the effects stay with people for decades. Brains are literally rewired, causing issues like a warped view of healthy relationships and sex, body dysmorphia, feelings of depression or isolation, and loss of interest in other activities.
Pornography hurts everyone. The person viewing the material is harmed, and the people performing are harmed as well; especially considering the number of videos involving illegal and nonconsensual acts. Thirdly, many people forget the partner of a porn addict is harmed, too.
Walking alongside someone trying to come out of a porn addiction is difficult. It’s hard not to feel insecure, frustrated, and disheartened. But it’s so important to know that God is the only one who can change hearts; it’s not your responsibility to “cure” your partner.
The best way to support your partner is to pray for them and with them. Remind them they’re loved and that the blood of Jesus removes all shame. Show them mercy and patience as Christ does, and encourage them to seek counseling, an accountability partner, or other resources for help.
We wrote this prayer for people in your partner’s shoes.
And, for you? Here’s a prayer we hope might help:
“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12).
A Prayer for the Partner of Someone Struggling with Porn
Redeemer of the broken, my heart needs to be healed. Thank you for the divine gift of relationship. As it was in the very beginning, man and woman bear your image. Please walk with (partner’s name) as they battle against their flesh every day. Please give me strength and patience as I walk alongside them in love. Remind me that their addiction is not a result of my actions or imperfections. Humble me, Lord, to know it’s not my responsibility to cure addiction; that’s a job that only you can complete through your Spirit and a changing of the heart.
