On May 9, 1940, a living nightmare began for Holland’s Jews and all who dared support them. Adolf Hitler took to the airwaves announcing that Germany would not invade the Netherlands due to Dutch neutrality in World War I. That night, however, Panzers and airborne troops crossed the border into Holland. When the overmatched Dutch military valiantly resisted, German bombers razed much of Rotterdam on May 14. Nazi leadership then threatened to destroy Utrecht . . . the Dutch government surrendered on May 15.
But the terror didn’t end with the surrender. The documentary The Reckoning traces the lives of six young people who endured Nazi Germany’s oppressive occupation of Holland. The movie’s introduction makes this assertion: “When so many surrender to fear, those who do not are truly remarkable. Their actions become extraordinary. But they are just ordinary people—no different from you and me.”1 These brave individuals did more than face their fears. Though their country had yielded to a stronger military power, these six refused to allow fear to control them.
What causes some to surrender to fear while others do not? How can ordinary people find freedom and courage in the face of their own fears?
Everyone fears. Anxiety disorders—from generalized anxiety to panic attacks and full-blown phobias—are the number one mental-health problem in the United States, affecting as many as one in ten people and costing tens of billions of dollars in treatment and lost productivity.2 Not all fears are so severe, but one thing is certain: Fear threatens us all.
Scripture gives us insight into our fears: their source, why we fear, how fear helps or harms us, and how we can overcome their debilitating effects.
The Source of Fear
Though fear has not been with us from the beginning, its arrival was early in human history, and not as an infrequent visitor but as a constant companion. Fiction writer H. P. Lovecraft calls fear “the oldest and strongest emotion of mankind.” It is the first emotion referred to after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden. When the first couple disobeyed God, and He came looking for them to take their customary evening walk together, Adam told God, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid” (genesis 3:10 emphasis added). For the first time in their lives, fear gripped Adam and Eve. Fear arose from the disconnection, desperation, and danger resulting from their disobedience.
Disconnection. Adam felt vulnerable because of his separation from his Provider. The immediate death he experienced after sinning was the loss of his vital connection with God. He instantly knew he was naked and at risk. He was emotionally, relationally, and spiritually naked—cut off from his life-giving God.
Whenever our sense of well-being is threatened, we experience the same shudder of fear that Adam felt. We feel alone and vulnerable. Disconnection from God fuels our struggle with insecurity, inadequacy, and self-doubt. We feel . . . desperate.
Desperation. Adam lost control of his world. He was alienated from God, estranged from his wife, banished from the garden, and desperate to figure out how to survive in a hostile environment.
We hate feeling out of control. Author and counselor Dan Allender wrote, “Different people fear different things with different levels of intensity, but all of us fear what we cannot control. . . . Fear is provoked when the threat of danger exposes our inability to preserve what we most deeply cherish.”3 Fear invades our most cherished relationships because we have no real control over another person. People are free to make their own choices; and where there is freedom, fear may not be far behind. Some spouses fear betrayal; others fear being ignored or unloved. Parents fear that their children won’t turn out well. Employees fear the company will downsize.
Danger. Eden was safe. Evicted from paradise, the man and woman encountered a world fraught with danger and increasing hostility (3:14-19; 9:2-6). The apostle Paul would describe an internal struggle provoked by external dangers threatening him: “We were harassed at every turn—conflicts on the outside, fears within” (2 corinthians 7:5).
The two primary sources of the external threats we face are a dangerous world and an evil adversary.
Our world, both planet and people, has been severely distorted by sin. It can feel as though we’re living in a war zone—and for good reason. We are!
On His last evening on earth, Jesus warned His followers about life in a dangerous world: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (john 16:33). The word for trouble denotes tribulation, affliction, anguish, and burden. It creates intense pressure on us—so much pressure that a significant part of Jesus’ mission on earth was to “overcome the world.” He knew that the intensity of our troubles in a fallen world would be so overwhelming that we would have a tendency to lose heart and succumb to fear and discouragement.
There is also an evil enemy who uses fear to intimidate and threaten us. Satan is the enemy of God and all who serve Him. He was the seductive serpent who enticed Eve into eating the forbidden fruit (genesis 3:1-6). God’s curse on the serpent drew the battle lines between God and His followers and Satan and his minions (vv. 14-15). The apostle Peter warned us to be alert to Satan’s intimidating tactic of prowling around like a roaring lion, terrifying us by his threats to devour us (1 peter 5:8).
How does he do that? Satan, the father of lies and god of this world, attacks believers with false accusations (job 1:9-11; zechariah 3:1; revelation 12:10). These “flaming arrows” are designed to wound our hearts and destroy our faith. His goal is to undermine our confidence in God’s goodness and His ability to rescue us when life’s troubles threaten to destroy us (hebrews 11:6).
We struggle the most in our relationships. Satan takes every opportunity to ruin our relationships by inciting fear, doubt, and insecurity. He exploits our tendency to depend on others. He flatters our sense of security and significance, preventing us from relying on God. By preying on our natural fear of getting hurt, he devours our joy of loving and serving others.
The assaults from these two external forces fan fear within us. Why? Because all fear involves both the peril of danger and the pain of loss. Loss intensifies our fears because it disconnects us from what we know/or and who we love.
But all is not lost. Fear can play a healthy role in our lives. Let’s take a closer look at what fear does for us.
The Function of Fear
Fear is not only unavoidable, it is also necessary. In the realm of emotions, fear works like friction. Too much friction heats things up, wears them out, and hinders movement. With too little friction, things quickly get out of control. We need the friction of fear to keep things from spinning dangerously out of control. But too much fear can suffocate creativity and reduce life to mere cloistered survival.
Healthy fear warns us of danger. My fear of snakes began when I was 6 years old. I was walking along the rocks of a creek my father had warned me to avoid when the bite of a copperhead ended my day with a trip to the doctor’s office and the scare of a lifetime. I still remember the terror that gripped me when I discovered those two tiny puncture wounds on my ankle. I’ve had a healthy fear of snakes ever since.
Healthy fear alerts us to our vulnerability and urges us to take prudent precautions. In much the same way that pain alerts us to an injury in need of medical assistance, fear grabs our attention and prepares us for dealing with danger by either getting out of harm’s way or by confronting the danger head-on.
The Bible illustrates the healthiness of self-preserving fear in the presence of danger. David fled for fear of his life from the presence of a jealous King Saul, who wanted to kill him (1 samuel 19:10-12; 20:1, 42; 21:10). On another occasion he was “very much afraid” of King Achish of Gath and acted like a madman so he wouldn’t be killed (1 samuel 21:12-13). Joseph and Mary, in obedience to an angel’s warning in a dream, fled from Bethlehem, escaping to Egypt because they feared King Herod’s attempts to kill Jesus (matthew 2:13). In each case, fear was appropriate and helpful because the danger was real. It isn’t cowardly to be afraid of life-threatening danger. When recognized and heeded, fear helps us to live wisely in a dangerous world.
Fear can motivate us to excel. All of us deal with deadlines of one sort or another. It may be the final project at the end of the school semester, a production quota on a job, or just paying our taxes on time. Properly harnessed, the fear of failure can be a powerful motivation to do our best.
The apostle Paul spoke of the fear of God’s final judgment as a powerful motivation in his ministry to persuade others of the hope of the gospel (2 corinthians 5:10-11). Not only did he desire for others to escape the wrath of God as their judge, but he also wanted God’s approval as his reward.
Fear can entertain us. The popularity of extreme sports attests to the free spirit of those who taunt fear by attempting dangerous stunts just for the thrill of it. They bungee jump, cliff dive, ride mountain bikes and skateboards over treacherous terrain, and jump out of airplanes with snowboards attached to their feet. The longing for adventure is what turns a life-threatening situation that would normally provoke intense anxiety into the thrill of a lifetime. This thrill of beating the odds requires taking risks and facing fear.
But fear is not always a friend. It can go awry. And when it does, it becomes a foe to be reckoned with.
As a foe, fear works internally to sabotage healthy living. When threatened, fear distorts our perception of ourselves and the reality of the dangers we face. It erodes our confidence that we can survive a threatening situation. Insecurity, inadequacy, and self-doubt undermine even the best of plans, leading to a crippling loss of courage that increases our vulnerability.
Insecurity is tied to our longing for love and acceptance. We were made for perfect, loving relationships. But because we don’t have any flawless relationships, we fear that we’ll be abandoned. We desire to love others, but the frightening reality is that there is no guarantee anyone will love us in return. We become terrified of giving our heart to anyone who might not treat us tenderly. Ultimately, insecurity leads to a fear of intimacy and results in withdrawal and isolation.
Inadequacy taps into our desire to make a significant difference in life—to know that we matter. We want to know that our life has meaning and purpose. We long to make a mark in the world. But past failures undermine our confidence that we will ever make the kind of difference in life that we dream of.
Self-doubt grows out of feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Upbringing, especially the impact of parents, goes a long way to shape our sense of self-confidence. Doubters are paralyzed by “what if’s.” This is especially true in a home where love and approval were based on performance. A demand for perfection is often the result. Underneath a perfectionist’s flurry of activity is fear—the fear of failure (“I’ll never be able to measure up and be enough”) and the fear of success (“If I do succeed, I’ll never be able to keep it going”). Doubters fear trying, so they quit. Author Gary Thomas sums it up: “Many people choose safe lives in which failure (and therefore, real success) is highly unlikely. They never take risks, and they never fail; but they also die without any real achievement. They may never make a mistake, but they’ll also never make a difference.”4 Fear that strips us of vitality and the zeal to live well must be challenged.
Faulty Ways of Dealing with Fear
Since fear is part of human existence, it’s important to learn to deal with it. But responding to fear in the wrong way makes matters worse. We can mishandle our fears by:
Numbing our feelings. In the face of overwhelming fear, sometimes it can seem that the safest route to take is to feel nothing at all. Trauma victims who experienced an overload of fear without any resolution are especially vulnerable to shutting down—turning off all emotions.
One of the most dangerous effects of numbing our feelings is that we lose the important capacity to feel pain. Without an awareness of pain, we are unable to feel a healthy sense of fear that can warn us of potential harm. As a result, we struggle to learn when and how to draw appropriate boundaries. And our emotional vacancy often invites others to revictimize us.
Controlling our world. Some people shut down when they experience levels of fear that are outside the range of normal human experience. Others go on high alert. Everything becomes a threat, and controlling as much of their world as possible seems their best defense.
But a commitment to control creates a life of chronic unrest. Extreme effort to be in control leaves no room to relax or enjoy peace because a person is always on guard against the next possible threat.
Masking our fears by covering them up. An angry bully is usually not taken for someone who is afraid. But intimidating others so that they would never dare question him is a common tactic of someone plagued by insecurity. Similarly, those who fear a loss of control often become the kind of take-charge people who become obsessively controlling. A mask of meticulous perfectionism may cover a fear of failure. Humor may mask a fear of loneliness. The problem with wearing masks is that a person loses his true identity and cannot relate honestly with others.
Minimizing our fears by pretending they aren’t important. “It’s no big deal, that’s just the way things were in my family,” a man said after he had shared a painful story of being ignored by his father as a child. But when I asked him how he felt about picking his father up at the airport earlier that week, his response revealed his true feelings. “There was no way I was going to be late for that man, even if it meant getting there five hours early.” When I asked how his father might respond if he were late, he snapped, “It’s not what he would say. It would be the look in his eyes.” This man had minimized the fear—and rage—he felt toward his father. Not only did his pretending stifle his relationship with his father, it was robbing him of intimacy with his own family whose pain he also minimized.
Rationalizing our fears by explaining them away. Some try to justify their fears superficially by excusing them as emotional reactions and nothing more. They fail to see any deeper motivation or beliefs involved in their fears. To them, fear is nothing more than a primitive defensive response to a neurochemical reaction between specific neurons of the brain. The result is a mind-over-feelings mentality that closes off healthy dialog about how our feelings relate to deeper issues.
Exaggerating our fears by making dangers bigger than they really are. Phobias, paranoia, and panic attacks are examples of exaggerated and disabling fears. Phobias are fears focused on specific situations or objects. Common phobias include getting on an elevator or airplane, driving in traffic, crossing a bridge, attending a party, shopping, insects, heights, and public speaking. Phobias divert attention from the real issues a person is avoiding by clouding them with a larger-than-life distraction. These faulty strategies for dealing with fear only intensify our fears. A better way is needed.
Overcoming Fear
When destructive fear is entrenched in our lives, we must remember that God is greater than all our fears. He desires to empower us to dismantle and demolish fear’s strongholds (2 corinthians 10:4). Fear must be uprooted and the truth implanted so that we are freed not merely to survive but to thrive (john 8:32). Life is never risk-free, but freedom from overwhelming fear empowers us to enjoy all that God offers us in a fallen world.
Face Your Fears. Don’t run from your fears. Facing them head-on is half the battle. Feel your fears. Don’t try to silence them by getting busy in distracting activities. Give yourself permission to feel the trembling, the anguish, even the terror. By doing so, you begin to identify your fears and what’s underneath them. Putting descriptive words to both the feelings and beliefs underlying your fears will equip you to talk more honestly and openly with someone who cares, whether a professional or a friend. Keeping a journal will help you focus your thoughts as you face your fears. When your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are written out in front of you, it will allow you to be more objective about what is really going on.
David recorded his fears in Psalm 55:4-8: “My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen on me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me. I said, ‘Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest. I would flee far away and stay in the desert; I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm.’ ” When you journal, ask yourself questions that make you write detailed answers. Here are some examples:
- What am I afraid of right now?
- What am I trying to avoid?
- If I wasn’t afraid right now, what would I do differently?
- What would have to change for me not to be afraid?
- What am I afraid will happen in this situation?
- What do I fear the other person will think of me?
- What am I afraid will happen if my anxious thoughts are true? What’s the worst that could happen? And if that happens, then what? And if that happens, then what?
This last example is called chaining—linking questions together like links in a chain so you can begin to track a pattern to the fear that emerges from the things you have written. As you follow this process of honestly facing your fears, you will be better prepared to examine your findings and learn from your fears instead of running from them.
Learn from Your Fears. Does your fear drive you to rely on God as your protector or on yourself? The answer to that question is crucial to understanding what arouses our fears. We must be careful, however, not to assume that all fear is a spiritual problem of misplaced dependency. Quite often the core issue is not whether we fear but what we fear. Our fears expose our heart and where our trust is rooted.
Caleb had the right perspective. He was a reconnaissance soldier, a man of valor who understood that cowardice is fueled by a lack of faith in God and His goodness to those who follow Him (hebrews 11:6). He had a different spirit than the other spies in his platoon (numbers 14:24). While they cowered at the thought of going up against the “giants” in a full-scale invasion of Canaan (13:31-33), he was gung-ho and ready to move (v. 30). It wasn’t that the Canaanites were not a formidable enemy that warranted a healthy level of fear. But Caleb understood that the Israelites’ fear of the Canaanites was not their real problem. He, along with Joshua, identified Israel’s problem as unbelief. Their fear distorted the danger posed by the enemy and diminished their trust in the power of God to protect and bring victory (14:6-9).
We have a tendency to allow our fear of others and the dangers we face to eclipse our awe of the omnipotent God we serve. He has promised to fight for us (psalm 56:3-4; romans 8:31-32).
Relinquish Unhealthy Fears. Psychologist and author Larry Crabb wrote, “We live in sheer dread of giving up control and abandoning ourselves to God. Only when we discover a desire for Him that is stronger than our desire for relief from pain will we pay the price necessary to find Him.”6 As hard as it may be to admit, the demoralizing fear that urges cowardly retreat is rebellion. When the Israelites’ fear was unmasked, their hearts were revealed—exposing their rebellion and lack of faith in God. Their refusal to believe God and to repent of their preoccupation with the danger ahead and their stubborn demand for safety cost them the Promised Land (numbers 14:21-23). Speaking of the Israelites, the prophet Isaiah observed: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it” (isaiah 30:15).
What is the first thing we think when we are afraid? Is it David’s words, “When I am afraid, I will trust in You”? (psalm 56:3). If not, we need to ask the Lord for His help. We need to turn from our tendency to complain or to react out of fear and turn instead to Him (isaiah 31:1). Once we are released from enslaving fear, we will then be free to serve God and others.
Cultivate Healthy Fears. There are dangerous people and situations we must learn to identify and avoid. To allow abusive, violent, or addicted people unrestricted access to our lives and those we care about is foolish. It is prudence, not paranoia, that requires us to establish strong and clear boundaries with people who refuse to recognize or take responsibility for the damage they have caused others.
The military trains soldiers to deal with life-threatening situations they may encounter in battle. They are trained not simply to survive but to advance in the face of what they fear (death) so they can neutralize the enemy and accomplish their objectives. A Gulf War veteran stated, “When I got into my first nighttime firefight, I felt fear riddle my whole body. Then the training kicked in.” Because of his thorough training, he was able to do his job and carry out his mission even while under fire.
- Move in Spite of Your Fears. “Remember, there’s nothing vital at stake tomorrow.” She was half a continent away, facing one of the most important business meetings of her life, and had called for reassurance. I repeated the phrase several times. Actually, important things were at stake—major upheaval was tearing the company apart. New management threatened to squeeze her out. Her job, her financial future, and her self-esteem were all being challenged. But nothing vital was at stake!
What is vital? What is the one thing we cannot possibly live without? It’s finding the security we long for and the significance we crave in a personal relationship with Christ (john 6:35, 68-69). It’s our Father’s tender words reassuring us that nothing can divert His attention from us nor diminish His love for us (romans 8:31-39). When all else fails and everyone deserts us, He remains faithful and true to His children, whom He loves (matthew 28:20; 2 timothy 4:16-18). That’s vital! When we understand that nothing vital is at stake, we will live courageously and take risks—not foolish risks but faithful and reasonable ones based on the knowledge that “the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid” (numbers 14:9).
King David repeatedly confronted his fear and reinforced his resolve to act courageously because of his uncompromising confidence in God: “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” (psalm 27:1). And “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (118:6).
Living courageously in the midst of hostility and discouragement requires unflinching trust in God’s love (1 john 4:18). His “perfect love drives out fear,” freeing us to live in freedom (matthew 16:25; acts 20:24; philIPPIANS 3:10-12). That has been God’s call to His people throughout history.
God called the prophet Ezekiel to fearlessly face people and situations much like those we face in our daily battle against evil. He told Ezekiel, “Do not be afraid of them or their words. Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns are all around you and you live among scorpions. Do not be afraid of what they say or be terrified by them, though they are a rebellious people. You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen, for they are rebellious” (ezekiel 2:6-7).
Everyone wants to be liked. No one wants to fail. But God encouraged Ezekiel to serve Him faithfully with Job-like resolve: “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him” (job 13:15).
Gary Thomas reminds us that “there are no guarantees we will not fail—but the unwillingness to risk may be our greatest failure of all.”7 Jesus’ command to “take heart” (john 16:33) is a call to be courageous when facing danger that threatens to overwhelm us with fear. He knows that our tendency is to cower and flee rather than to courageously stand and fight. Our confidence must not be in our own ability to shoulder the load and figure it all out. Rather, it must be rooted in our Savior, who has overcome the world with a love that neutralizes paralyzing fear. Courageous living requires courageous loving. And this is only possible when we’re not motivated by fear but by the compelling love of Jesus that conquers all fear (2 corinthians 5:14).
The Wisdom of Fear
Much has been written about the love of God. Yet the fear of God is a concept that cannot be ignored by anyone who reads the Bible seriously. Some see the fear of God as an Old Testament concept that has outlived its usefulness. But Jesus didn’t think so. In fact, He considered it important enough to teach it to His disciples in two unique settings.
In Luke 12:4-5, Jesus directly addressed the issue of fear with His disciples: “I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him.” This opportunity to teach followed on the heels of the fierce opposition He was facing (11:37-54). Jesus recognized that the hostility directed against Him was frightening His disciples, so He taught them about the fear of God in the way the Old Testament spoke of it: Fear God more than men—even powerful men—because God has the power of final judgment.
Jesus’ words echoed the reminder from Ecclesiastes: “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind” (12:13).
The Sum of All Fears
Sir Francis Bacon concluded, “Men fear death, as children fear to go in the dark.” William Shakespeare wrote, “Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.” And according to the writer of Hebrews, “People are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment” (9:27).
We all fear death—not only the loss of our life, but also the loss of anything or anyone so precious to us that losing it would feel like death. The sum of all fears is the fear of death—the final and ultimate loss of control. We may avoid some of the lesser losses in life, but in the end we must all come to grips with the fact that no one cheats death—even though it will one day be destroyed (1 corinthians 15:26; revelation 21:4). When Adam died in the Garden of Eden, he didn’t die physically. But something within him died, and he struggled with that loss until the day he physically died.
Death is more than the cessation of physical life. It is separation. On the physical level, it is separation of body and soul. On the spiritual level, it is an inner emptiness, isolation, and loneliness that results from the severed bond between Creator and creature. It was the coming separation from the Father that Jesus Himself dreaded as He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane (matthew 26:38).
One of the great realities of the gospel is the freedom from the paralyzing fear of death. Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross provided that for us: “He too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death” (hebrews 2:14-15).
The impact of death can take many forms. Lesser deaths—like the loss of our health, our dreams, our livelihood, our profession, our reputation, or our financial security—are all harbingers of the last death. Some of the more painful losses come in our relationships—losing those who are precious to us, like parents, spouse, children, and friends. David described this when he wrote of “the valley of the shadow of death” in Psalm 23:4. He didn’t seem to be speaking primarily of physical death. Instead, he was referring to those treacherous chasms in our lives that are so dark and lonely that they frighten us. It is during those times that we need the reassurance of the only good and trustworthy Shepherd who is qualified to lead us through the valley. Isaiah spoke of this faithful Shepherd when he wrote: “Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let the one who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on their God” (isaiah 50:10). Our future hope resides in these wonderful words of celebration: “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? . . . But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 corinthians 15:55, 57).
REFERENCES
- The Reckoning, documentary, 2007
- “The Sum of All Fears,” Discover, April 2002, p.22.
- Dan Allender and Tremper Longman, Cry of the Soul (Tyndale House Publishers, 1999), 81.
- Gary Thomas, “Finding Fortitude,” Discipleship Journal, July-August, 2002, p.36.
- Graham Greene, The Confidential Agent, 1982.
- Larry Crabb, Shattered Dreams (WaterBrook Press, 2010), 100.
- “Finding Fortitude,” 39.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Cry of the Soul by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman (NavPress, 1999).
The Glorious Pursuit by Gary Thomas (NavPress, 1998).
Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb (Waterbrook Press, 2002).
Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning and Richard Foster (Harper San Francisco, 2002).
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (Thomas Nelson, 2001).
The Emotional Brain by Joseph LeDoux (Simon & Schuster, 1998).
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman (Bantam Books, 1997).
The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook by Martin M. Anthony and Richard P. Swinson (New Harbinger Publications, 2000).
